Unpaired Socks


I am sure I am not alone in this phenomenon. I place into the washing machine a laundry load with paired socks (or so I thought) but when it comes to putting away the laundry I end up with unpaired socks. I checked the washing machine and the laundry basket but the missing socks will never be there. Where do the other socks go?

I am always optimistic so I would keep the unpaired socks and hope that in the next laundry the other socks will turn up. Tonight, I decided to get the bundle of socks and try to pair them up. Yet I still ended up with 9 unpaired socks. Most of them are black but there is a difference in the patterns or texture. I could just pair them randomly as long as they are of similar colours, afterall crazy unpaired socks are trendy these days but I cannot bring myself to do it. I would know the difference.

As today is V-day and I am listening to my playlist of love songs, my hopeless-romantic -introspective -self started thinking. What if we all started out as paired socks? What if when our names were being listed in the great book above before we were born, we were already paired up? What if on our way down to Earth to our mortal bodies, one partner has lost his way that he ended up so far away from his intended pair that he has forgotten about her and can no longer find his way to her? What if he has settled to pair up with a similar yet unpaired person who has also lost her partner? What if, just like the unpaired socks that i have held onto for a long time, the intended partner cannot be found? What if just like I am thinking now ( throwing away the unpaired socks) the unpaired person will decide to just give up? What if…

It is incredible how much introspection and questions my unpaired socks conjured. In the end, they are but unpaired socks that are taking space in my sock box and have not been used for a long time. I guess the time has come to decide whether to throw them out or not. Oh well, let me fold some more laundry and listen to some more music then I will decide.

Much ado about unpaired socks 😄



Team Sawi’s Survival Guide on V-day



And just like that, one of the most famous Hallmark holidays ( bitter much?) is upon us. Those of us with single status will have to take a deep breath and wait patiently for the day to finish.

‘Sawi’ is a Tagalog word refers to the brokenhearted or unlucky in love. On the day which celebrates romantic love, us, Singletons will have bear with good humour all the smugness and happiness of the lovey-dovey people.

Now, Valentine’s day never used to bother me. As a young adult, I always had my friends with me and we all go on out on our pre or post Valentine dinner. As an independent single here in UK, I was not a singleton for most of the times. Though the Ex used to complain that it is but a Hallmark holiday, I still get flowers, Chocolates and the lovey-dovey texts. However, two years ago my own ‘concious uncoupling’ happened so after seven years of being a part of a double act, I have to fend today on my own. Last year’s Valentine’s day did not count as I was still too busy getting my health back in order. So, this is the first Valentine’s day after a long while that I am very conscious of being a singleton.

So, apparently today could go in three ways: a. Be bitter and unhappy for being on your own and the onslaught of all love-in-the air bombardment you will see on your social media, b. Call all your single friends and have a good old time commiserating each other and c. Treat it like any other Sunday. The third is a little hard to do especially if you are well connected through social media.

I decided to go by the fourth option. Life will always be different for each of us. So I have accepted I am where I am supposed to be. There was no mad scramble on online dating sites just so I won’t be alone today. Today is but a day but a soulmate is for a lifetime so it cannot be rushed. I also accepted that there will be times today or in the near future that I will have bouts of sadness for the Sawi moments but at the same time I accept that these moments will eventually pass… that in time, I will laugh at the silliness of it all. I also decided to treat today as any Sunday as tomorrow is a working day. The ironing and cleaning still need to be done so I can’t wallow for long in my bouts. I will eat what I want, not the pambansang ulam of ampalaya, but food that will satisfy my cravings. I will enjoy my flowers (bought 3 days ago because I like flowers) not because today is V-day but because I actually love flowers.

So, to those Singletons, despair not for today ,afterall, is only 24 hours. Our lives and essence are not defined by our status today. Be happy for those in loving relationships… Be happy for those enjoying being on their own… Be supportive of those having their sad moments but most of all, try to be happy with yourself.

So this is how a couple of hours of my day went today…

Happy Valentine’s day to all  ❤ ❤ ❤

Ally McBeal kind of a Night

So tonight I have decided to turn the television off and put the Kindle down. I have decided to listen to music – I was deciding whether to indulge my melancholic self or put on dance songs to get me pumped instead. So in the darkness, I searched my playlist and I just seem to be swiping away the collections then I remembered … Ally McBeal! My go-to- music when I am feeling slightly down.

I rummaged through my CD collection ( Yes, I do still have CD’s) and voila! Within seconds Vonda Shepard’s voice filled my room starting with ‘Searching My Soul’. I was soon dancing to the tune of ‘It is in his kiss’ then become slightly melancholic with ‘I only Want to be with you’. This is one soundtrack that I normally ‘dance-it-out’ when life stops making sense.  Listening to the sound track of Ally McBeal is like riding a roller-coaster with all the dips and highs the songs take me.

I know that the main protagonist of this series is slightly neurotic despite being an intelligent woman, perhaps, this is the reason I liked it. I could relate to her being silly and being hopelessly clueless when it comes to the matters of the heart. I guess, most women go through periods of being clueless, stupid, or worse, slightly neurotic at least once in her life. Well, the series did have some following for 5 years so there must be more of us who identified with the hapless-in-love lawyer. Oh I know that some feminist would protest that Ally McBeal does not represent the female population. I agree with that notion actually but I also agree that the character, though in somewhat exaggerated manner, does reflect the times when we veer on the edge of being neurotic. I had a talk with a colleague about dating and how she doesn’t want to go back to the times of waiting by her phone wondering whether her man will call or not. That was a revelation to me because here is a confident attractive woman who experienced the same feelings as I did. Hallelujah! I must be normal then!

I still have the soundtrack ongoing now as I tapped away on the keyboard. It might not necessarily the soundtrack of my life but I like to think that just like Ally, I will surpass the dips in my life and eventually reach my highs. Life is indeed a roller coaster so I might as well enjoy the ride for I may never pass this way again.

Current song right now?  ‘Tell Him’. Time to dance again, I reckon. 🙂



The Elusive Winged Eyeliner


Ah, the elusive winged eyeliner…No, this is not a mythical creature akin to the Yeti or Big Foot but with my failed attempts to perfect it, it might as well be an animate mythical creature.  It is the make-up trend these days that has held my fascination for some time now. (Amazing what boredom can do!)

I learned about putting on make-up by observing my Mama and my sisters. I did not watch with rapt attention though. I was not a very girly girl growing up and I was also a late bloomer, so I wasn’t that interested. The most I had on was just a bit of lipstick and only because it was required of us as nursing students during rotation (thanks, Sir Jerry!). I was not that keen on eyeliners as I fear I might poke my eye. Besides, if there was an occasion or party that I need to go to, my Mama would have a make-up artist do a house call. But I am now in UK and it would be pricey to have a make-up artist come to my flat so I need to learn. Sixteen years on and I am still no master on applying make-up.

A few weeks ago, my friends and I were discussing our amazement that some of the new Filipino nurses come to work with full make up on. We were amazed because a. What time do they get up to have time for make-up? And b. the expertise by which their make-up were applied. One of my friends said that she would like to learn how to do the ‘winged eyeliner’ and I said that we can just google how to do it.

I was not that keen on the winged eyeliner but it was a challenge I want to take on. I thought,’heck, I can draw, how hard can it be? right?’ Well, life does have ways to ground me down— hard! First, I tried with a pencil eyeliner. Ouch! No, I did not poke my eye but it was painstakingly difficult. Perhaps it was because I only used my old eyeliner pencil ( used to shape my eyebrows before) which was already 16 years old. Second attempt was when a friend and I sat in the stall of Benefits make-up in Westfield and had their sales representatives try their products on us. I got convinced buying their gel eyeliner. Of course my winged eyeliner was good as it was applied by someone used to doing it. The moment I got home, I tried to do it myself. Guess what? I was rubbish at it! My hand was not at the correct angle and I cannot make both sides symmetrical. The kicker? It was difficult to remove too. Some of the eye make-up removing cream got into my eye which blurred my vision temporarily. Great! In addition to my frustration at my ineptness at the task, I now have the fear of going blind from my sheer stubbornness. Perhaps, this should have discouraged me but as per my character, I can be very bullheaded. Third attempt… Yesterday, I decided to buy a liquid eyeliner as I am convinced I will be better with it. I decided to watch more YouTube videos on how to do the task. The millennials learn from them so surely, so can I. Yesterday for the third attempt at doing the winged eyeliner, I tried the liquid eyeliner. My hand was not as steady as I would have liked and my stroke was tentative hence it was not a very good result but better compared to the gel eyeliner. Fourth attempt… This afternoon, I tried doing the winged eyeliner again and I was satisfied with the results that I actually went out with it on. It did not have bold angled wings but just a little flick.
I got home this evening feeling chuffed at my beginner’s skills then I realized that my eyes are already big enough that I do not really need to make them bigger with winged eyeliner. Oh well, at least I learned a new skill and just in case I need to have bigger more alive eyes, I will continue practicing.

Here’s hoping I won’t go blind from my sheer stubbornness. Hmmm… My eyebrows could do some work, better check on YouTube 🙂