I woke up this morning at my usual time even if I am not going to work. My bodyclock is akin to a swiss clock, always on time. I knew this would happen this morning so I was planning to go for a run but the cold temperature as of the moment makes me want to stay under the duvet instead and do some musing.
Laugh, love, live…. Eons ago in the era of Friendster, this was my ‘shout out’ to the world. To a forever Pollyana, this made sense but does a decade older me still believe in it? Do I still wear the rose-coloured glasses when I look at everything and everyone?
Early Monday morning, I received sad news that a cousin of ours passed away in his sleep. He apparently went to bed as per normal and he was found dead the next day. He was such a kind soul and I know his passing will leave a big hole in his family. Add this bit of news to my already-melancholic-self -post-Mother’s day then being bright and upbeat can be a challenge. I needed cheering up to the point that I bought a Snickers bar as comfort food. I was like an over-inflated balloon that a little bee sting would have burst and deflated me. It has…it did… and …
It is easier to stay angry and hurt, play the victim card, sulk and lick my wounds in a corner than to let go of the hurt, smile and carry on caring. Oh I am not above being cold or crying when hurt afterall I am human but I got to thinking… what if I do not wake up the next morning? What if my lifeline will be cut short too and in those last moments I refused to laugh, love or live?
I had schoolmates, cousins or friends who were seemingly healthy and well but their lives were cut short. They had dreams, aspirations and loved ones that they left all too soon without warning. Do I really want my lasting memory to be of someone holding on to anger and hurt feelings?
So, to answer the question regarding this rose-coloured-glasses-wearing-Pollyana, I have grown up and learned that the world is not always going to be filled with rainbows and flowers afterall, rain is needed to have both. But it is about learning to dance in the rain and believing that the storm will eventually pass. It is in believing that love is more valuable than pride or ego. It is in knowing that people will never intentionally hurt others. It is about forgiving even when the apology is not forthcoming. It is about acknowledging that people will not always feel the same way as you do and that the love given may not be returned. It is about understanding that our time in this world is finite so might as well do good and give love instead of holding on to anger and hurt feelings.
My sisters and I ( and our parents too, before they left us) always finish our telephone conversations and chats with ‘love you and take care’. At least if it so happens that will be our last conversation then our last thoughts were of love and care.
The world and the people in it may not act the way we expect them to. We have no control over their actions or feelings only on ours. There will be times of sadness, anger and hurt feelings and it is all right to acknowledge these feelings but it is our choice whether to hold onto to them like pushing a thorn on our sides or to let go of the anger and give love instead.
Everybody has a choice on how they interact with their loved ones and the world. I will not presume to tell you how to feel or act but for me… Life is finite and short so I will actively choose to laugh, love, and live.